Tor Hershman: The most plausible conspiracy theory

The most plausible conspiracy theory
should, as well as many other subjects, have its terms defined.

Conspiracy: Any agreement betwixt two or more persons (or by person/persons allowing said agreement to exist through mis/non/malfeasance) to take part in any unlawful or unethical fraud, crime or other wrongful act or any concurrence of action or inaction seeking a result.

Theory: Carefully analyzed facts resulting in an as yet scientifically unproven hypostasis.

Sooooooooooo, if you were a member of an organization that regularly participates in conspiracy, what would be the one concept (aka meme) that you’d most want disseminated? Why of course, it would be that ALL conspiracy theories are le screw la ball. Hence the primary conspiracy is to have the term ‘Conspiracy Theory’ automatically thought of, in the average mind, as completely unsound.

Now a must see movie recommendation – what if Samuel Beckett had written cartoons?

Ka-now, on to a wee parody moi created a couple of years ago. It is based on the
Barry White album “The Ultimate Collection.”

Eternally temporary, what better joke than to have meaninglessness gooooooooo on forever?

The world’s first vast religion had theology perfectly exemplified via their most sacred symbol – The Scarab; it (Theology or fanatical Atheism ) is nothing more than a turd tasting bug, a shit shoving insect, a dung dining beetle, a feces feasting creepy crawler.

Gad, when I thunk-up the title “Chanting The Name Of The Turd” moi didn’t realize just HOW literally correct moi ‘twere.
Okay, here’s a depressing thought that goes vastly, perhaps infinitely, beyond depression.
Let’s say the universe ends with The Big Chill or The Big Crunch. That equilibrium is achieved either by cold or hot, it doesn’t matter. Now the seventeen overlapping dimensions (According to moi’s model – but one, three, or three zillion matters not) when total equality is achieved immediately reform into THIS ALL OVER AGAIN. Heck, we could be a hundred trillion googolplex (to the power of a gazillion) reliving the exact same lives and we could/would NEVER know it. Man, talk about meaninglessness personified. Fudge, I suppose, ‘cause moi don’t – didn’t – won’t know, the equation is NOT
0 = T = 0
but rather
E(equilibrium) = T = E = T = E eeeee-etc.
Of course E would be 0 to the previous ‘bounce’.

A perfectly oscillating universe, as the cosmologists might say.

It is impossible for infinity to exist in the realm of the infinitely finite.

Did we have freewill the first time around? That is doubtful. Do we have freewill now? Phuck no, if this ain’t the first time! Duck Phucker! Phuck, feces, sheeeet, phuck.....good thing it’s all absolutely pointless or this concept would be a real bummer. Gad, it's beyond bummer; it's the perfect joke.

Oh, I know, ten-thousand others have written similarly, possibly exactly, but geeeez lousie, such crap ola!
My original equation of 0=T=0 would be valid for the universe’s existence ‘cause with each brand new SAME old universe all knowledge would be zero; but, the exact equation would be 17Ds = 18thD = 17Ds [D = dimension]. Oh, BTW: the perception of ‘dimensions’ as up, down, etc. requires the out/insight of a duck.....or turnip.....or most physicists.

However, you and moi shall NEVER know, it isn’t knowable but knowin' it ain't knowable 'tis cool enough. I suppose we could’ve shut down the philosophy/theology departments after Socrates. It doth most completely, now to moi, appear that all we can know is that we know nothing (As ole Soc said), except thingys as - which fellow earthling shall be dined upon this eve till our body is the entrée.

I wonder if John Lennon had a sense of that when he wrote in “Woman,” “...so let me tell you again and again and again” and again in “Instant Karma,” “...on on and on and on on and on,” not to mention (till now) “Starting Over”? That mofoin’ Johnny.

Even doin’ a header over/through/into/on a black hole’s event horizon wouldn’t mean crap; singularities are only wee bits of E/0 already.

You know, if you allow the main menu loop from "American Splendor" to just keep running, you'd have a wonderful example of a seamlessly bouncing universe.

Gad, that doesn’t leave this old monkey with much to blog about.
HEY! Wait a sec, I know.....LET’S HAVE A CONTEST!

Yeah, a moive/DVDs givin’ away contest. I’ve gotten many double copies of DVDs over the years and a contest, well, is something to do. Look for the first Tor Hershman DVD giveaway contest coming, if a car, 747, comet or (residual) peanut butter cookie doesn’t hit, next month.

Oh, BTW these are DVDs from real companies, not homemade ones. Heck, moi ain’t got DVD burnin’ capacity, even if’in moi wanted to.

Well, WTF, unlike so many of the famous directors/actors, who can not stand to view their work, moi REALLY enjoys watching me wee flicks over and over again. I suppose that’s because they are being paid to create the brain farts of others. It may well be a maximum wage job BUT it is ONLY a “Job,” whereas if it’s in moi’s thingy, it’s moi’s wing dingy and moi’s farts do arome ever so much.....to moi. However I’m sure the vast piles or molla MORE than makes-up for their lack of pleasure in jobmaking.
Example:

If this were factually titled it should be
“AmaZING WifeyWu” (aka “AmaZING MammyMater”) and the ‘many hooters’ would be only images, as they are in the flick.

BTW: Me wee flick 'twere deleted from the Richard Dawkins official message board.
Wow! If Dawkins and Maher run the world, just think of it.....no "Unapproved" comedy and no flu shots.

Factoid:
After moi’s first video of
“Tor Hershman’s AmaZING Grace”
I found a listing for moi at the Library Of Congress. It seems some folk put together a project categorizing EVERYONE that had EVER recorded “Amazing Grace.” Well, they ain’t the finest researchers in the world, having moi there, sooooooo I sent the LOC an E and within forty-eight hours der page were deleted.
I wouldn’t mind havin’ a LOC listing
BUT NOT FOR doin’ that
slave traders anthem.

Speakin’ of wonderful WifeyWu/MammyMater, here’s her
jack-O-lantern from this year.
It’s a bit old here and the right-side of the mouth has dried and broken.
Of course, even before the pumpkin is carved WifeyWu/MammyMater’s roasted pumpkin seeds are being enjoyed and later on.....super good pumpkin pieszzzzzz.

Oh, there’s this church parkin’ lot that moi walks beside, a lot, and not until recently did the writing on their wall make moi think of Firesign Theatre’s “Towed Away” (To the tune of the refrain from “The First Noel”).

Oh heck, there’s a whole universe of thingys to blog about perhaps (We CAN never know) over and over and over and over and over again. Once would be the same as a quadrillion googolplex + times, though.

Thingys such as this beautiful “Weed” next to a downtown bank’s parking lot.

Remember - check back next month for the really big DVD contest.

And another thing, just WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE would take beautifully intricate works of culinary art then turn them into SHIT! I swear, those kinds of people nowadays.

Oh yeah, I saw a pic of the USS New York and it has the motto “Never Forget.”
Yikes, talk about ‘never forgetting’, them thar Zoroastrians showed Alexander The Great their fire and he put it out and they ain’t forgotten that and it happened
twenty-four centuries ago.
Say, did you see the WW II U.S. GI drivin' to the Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day ceremonies in his Mitsubishi???

Never forget (and you very well may never be able TO forget) next months big movie contest, right here, that shall be dubbed
Tor Hershman’s
Movie give-a-way
The Vast Wasteland Contest

Ya gotta be CrAzY to have a contest like this!
How can we do it?
Volume! Volume!! Volume!!!