TODAYS (& everyday’s) TOP NEWS STORIES

THIS JUST IN TO THE NEWSROOM

All the news Skippy Goebbels allows

*newsroom sounds*

Al-Qaida middle-management gets promotion.

Former upper-echelon Enron executives ordered to
cut-down on caviar consumption, face mandatory
high-class hooker exercise sentencing.

Iraq: 23 people blown-up, 5073 die of
natural causes.

Terrorists kill 9 American citizens.

Americans kill 19 American citizens.

U. S. of A. takes
gold, silver and bronze in the
Olympian Kill Americans Event.

Batmobile vs. Munster’s Dragster:
who done gotz da pimpin’ on?

Grown people hitting balls with sticks.

Grown people trying to keep and take balls
from outer grown people.

Mother pleads for son not to be
killed so he can die.

Rare aqua-mammals milked for
delicious French bread made
with Texas toast.

French toast renamed
“Freedom Toast”

Trojan’s new musical French Ticklers’
name changed to
“Freedom Ticklers”